First of all, where did the time go? Cory and I were talking the other evening and we both feel as if we have been talking about getting married and planning the actual wedding day for what feels like forever, and now it is almost here! It is only two weeks and two days away to be exact! I wonder what all of my past brides have felt at this moment in their lives? I wonder because, personally, I am filled with emotions! I decided to write everything that I have been wondering or thinking about our marriage, our wedding day and the days leading up to it. Some of it I hope other brides can relate. Some I hope you find amusing and some I hope you find is heartfelt and thoughts from the core of me. If you are ready for some honesty from a Bride who is also a Wedding Photographer, here it is!

I can cry tears of joy at the drop of a hat. I can’t fall asleep because I just lay there wanting to daydream about our wedding day coming up. When I daydream about our wedding day I think someone needs to pinch me. It just all feels surreal, beautiful and magical and I wonder what I did to truly deserve this happiness. I have butterflies in my stomach and true giddiness as I sit here and type what I am feeling to you all. This is the most excited I have ever been in my entire life, and I cannot wait to experience this day with Cory.

I am not going to lie, I was overwhelmed with all of the things left to-do at the beginning of this week but now I just feel ready to marry the man of my dreams regardless if all the DIY decor is done or not! After all, those things don’t truly matter; starting our marriage does! I do agree that I should have started on some of these projects sooner.

As a wedding photographer myself, I wonder what moments our photographer will capture for us. I know that I will want to take in every smile, every tear, every kiss and hug. I will want to remember every glance that Cory gives me. I will want to remember every emotion and every word spoken. I will want to memorize our vows and our closest friends’ toasts. I will want to remember every step I take with my Dad walking me down the aisle to Cory’s favorite song. I have had dreams of my Dad and I doing this and if it is anything like the dream I had, it is going to be amazing.

I wonder if my Brother will be there in spirit watching over us, and blessing us with a beautiful day. I wonder if he knows just how much I wish he was here for this. I have often wondered if he pulled some strings up there and helped bring Cory into my life because I thank God everyday that this man fell in love with me and wants to marry me!

I can’t wait for our first dance to one of our favorite songs and the surprises that we have planned for some of our loved ones. This is the beginning to our marriage and our wedding day but we believe in celebrating with everyone that is invited. We believe in sharing in this day with our parents, our bridal party and Cory’s sister and her husband. We want them to know how much it means for them to be there with us.

I wonder if I cry pretty or if I have an ugly cry, because I am sure their will be lots of happy tears! This makes me laugh just writing it to you all. But when I photograph someone’s wedding day I find them even more beautiful or handsome when they embrace their emotions. Those become my favorite moments that stop me in my tracks. Those are the moments that I always remember them in.

I have had a few dreams that no one shows up to our wedding! Yikes! Honestly, Cory and I will still be there so regardless we will be getting married that day and as happy as can be, but I would love it if our family and friends show up. I have had a dream that I had spray painted flowers throughout our bouquets and reception, so I hope Becky from Roost Flowers sticks to the real plan! 😉 I have had a lot of crazy dreams and I am wondering if all of my brides had these leading up to their wedding day? Mostly I find them amusing because in real life I do not feel stressed or worried about any of those things, but I continue to dream about weird things happening or occurring on our wedding day.

When I can’t sleep I have laid there and thought about my vows to Cory and it has helped me think of key points that I want to tell him and promise him. I thought of the presents I would give to my Mom and my Mother-in-law one night, and I am really excited about them!

While daydreaming, I picture our wedding day in clips and moments of what I think it will be like and the two moments that I keep picturing are the moments when I get into my wedding dress and then being at our wedding ceremony holding each other’s hands. I just see my hands holding his hands. I picture our first look and if I will go and hug him or call his name for Cory to turn around to see me. I love the hugging idea but I also picture getting accidentally elbowed in the forehead. 😉

I can’t help it! I am a thinker. I am long winded when I write so it is no surprise to me that my thoughts about this most special day to us are long winded, jump around from amusing to serious, and are continuous. I think back to how as a little girl you daydream about this day. You daydream about the guy that will be there with you on that day. You daydream about the things and the details long before your soulmate comes along.

But now, I know that all of this would never happen without Cory, because Cory is the person that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I would never have this day with anyone but him and I never would have this love that has taught me what love truly is without him. I know what this day truly encompasses and I will always know the magnitude of this day and this commitment that we are making together. I gratefully and unconditionally love you Cory and I can’t wait to marry you!

As always, thank you to Erika Mills Photography for our engagement portraits and the photographs that you will take on our wedding day.